Hi! You might oppose the simplicity of my greeting, cause we both know how we like to knock with the loudest bang. But enough of this 'you only knock once' (YOKO) ju ju of yours, and let me just greet you a happy 40th birthday old geezer! They say your life starts now, I'm guessing you can't even breath properly with all the harmful chemicals you dump into your body.  :p

Anyways, today was your 22nd birthday and this letter was addressed to you so you remember what kind of person you were 18 years ago. Honestly, I'm not even sure how I would picture you at the moment, but I do hope that you are giggling right now reading this with your kids while their mom is sexily dancing with the song Gentleman of Psy while stirring the pans of your soon to be dinner--i bet she's one hot momma considering you still have sex three times a week (or more? xD). If not, you probably pursued your capitalistic ideals and got all the riches of this survival of the fittest planet holding a glass of an expensive champagne blankly staring at an empty bed. Or worse, you are unemployed, single, failure in the family, have some nasty skin allergies, horrible breath and still lactose intolerant; so you moping with a pint of ice cream isn't even in the picture. And much much worse, you are now a cold, rotting, stinky pile of bones sealed in a cardboard box buried six feet beneath the earth on whatever public cemetery of your last known address (This should go on my willandtestament.pdf).

Quite frankly I really don't care how you'd end up. Not because I'm the directionless bum most people think I am right now, but because you didn't exactly had a concept of an ideal life and that you trusted me that I will always carry on whatever shit this universe will crap upon us. "The world has endless possibilities," a fact that most youngsters believe on this age of YOLO (You only live once) but also a fact that we both knowingly dismiss. No matter how open-ended this world to most people, an objective plan should always be established. At this day, I admit I probably don't have the entirety of this yet, but right now I am getting all my shit together and I can feel it on my balls that I am getting there.

Sorry in advance if you are now a Filipino language advocate, but right now I believe that English is the prevalent link that binds the billions of people scattered around the world. Remember when you wanted to learn Chinese because to you when you know Chinese you know a billion of people (rough estimate of Chinese speaking population)? And may I remind you too that you took this philosophy from a Japanese guy named Hide Maida which is really ironic for a guy from a very culturally proud country to learn the language of another country, not to mention a rival one at that. But enough of that, I want to apologize as well for all the misspelled words and grammatically incorrect framed sentences I had here. You should know I didn't ask our proofreader friends to correct this, so bare with it grammar nazi!

Now that I said my greetings, my purpose, and my apologies I can now proceed into narrating 13 things I want to tell you.

1. You are the kind of guy that would snort that nostalgic mik-mik just to pay homage to Breaking Bad--a show I wish you hadn't forgotten by now. And also to make your friends laugh. A jackass incarnate, yet a noble friend at heart.

2. You cried over the death of Going Merry on the Mahabharata-long One Piece which I wish should have ended by now. You mourned over the line "Will you still love me in the morning?" from the cliche-packed Adam Sandler movie called Click. You burst into tears when you saw the poignant love story of two 60 year olds at some korean film called 'Late Blossom'. And most recently, you wept when Ted Mosby proposed to the Mother on top of the Farmhampton lighthouse. This is to remind you how you were such a cry-baby. And it feels really good mocking you right now as oppose to people mocking me. Mocking yourself to feel good about yourself, sounds healthy huh?

3. You are a giant obnoxious basterd (your brain is probably started correcting this but I spelled it that way, deal with it) that hated yourself for being such a giant obnoxious basterd. If ever you found the tranquility of the tongue by now, I admire you. I don't want to start with I fuckin love myself and that I wouldn't change drama. But how can you say I love being an obnoxious basterd, if nobody ever said "I love breathing." It is a part of me that sometimes I wanted because I do bring joy into people's hearts, and sometimes I hated; especially when I went full retard and somebody got offended.

4. In connection, after all the offense you cause people you will always be bothered by the idea that you offended someone. And most of the time, even you look pathetic or weak you try to reach-out even when there is no reaching out needed.

5. So, most people branded you as oversensitive, but I would be glad to explain to them all the wounds that made you imperfect only if no holds barred kind of relationship is such an easy thing to commit to. I never blamed them for their prejudice. Believe me, they were part of my thoughts when I sleep at night, but how I really wish they weren't. Which leads me to

6. You were such a thoughtful person. Seriously and also pun intended. You are a magnificent melting pot of thoughts. I just wish you could express them perfectly well without you turning into a gigantic weirdo. You think about a lot of stuff. Most people see you as a hedonistic drinker who parties most of his life. But we both know we spent most of our life thinking about things we should have do and done, people we should have acted more appropriately, ideals that were so unreachable as the stars because of fucking Maslow and his Heirarchy of needs yet their light illuminate thousands of years later to remind us that it isn't too late, and stories of fiction or not about this wonderful and unpredictable universe.

7. This points me to your passion in writing. But do I have to remind you that the passion is rooted to your desire to tell stories? Remember when you were young and you used to make your toddler brothers and cousins laugh about your animated narrating of all the fairy tales in your bookshelf? If only there is a job to be a story-teller. Maybe there is, for kids. But any adult in his right mind wouldn't sit on some story-telling bar (patent pending) and listen to my pangasinense English. Although cool-sounding, it isn't as grandeur as a novelist for instance. Not as flamboyant as a movie director, his cap, and a stick of cigarette maybe. Not as radical as a journalist that captures experiences and share it to the world as a form of propaganda to whatever belief he wanted to show the world. Are you a novelist, a director, a journalist, or anything remotely associated with your passion to tell stories? If yes, I salute you sir you can now rest in peace.

8. Hello there Mr. Jejemon advocate. Yes you are, or at least you were. There was a point in time where a freakishly annoying kind of written language was annotated to a certain kind of people. Some, in defense would just say I just hate their texting. But let me remind them that they say jeje/jejemon whenever they see some group of people in certain attires with all their loud speakers of their phone. Let me bring the news to them that if they rethink their actions what they are actually bashing are: mga mahihirap na tao, mga cheapipay couples na sa tabi-tabi lang ngdadate, mga pekpek shorts gang na nagsisilabasan tuwing 11 am para mag general assembly, mga madudungis at mababaho, and many others. It really boils my blood that these people put their self on some pedestal higher than these people when to me they are nothing but ignorant oppressors. "Hahaha. Chill old me" you might say. I say to you, fuck you this is all cause of the neo-marxist stuff you have been exposed to.

9. You pseudo-hated capitalism. So in a sense you hated luxury. If there is one luxury you couldn't get rid of, that is the luxury of music. But let me just say this to you and be amazed by how awesome it is when you thought of it. Music is a luxury that is free. You listen to almost everything. Punk-rock, alternative, pop, mainstream, EDM, indie, OPM yada yada yada. Whatever shit you are listening right now, don't you ever stop listening and rediscovering things even as you grew older. Don't mimic this generation's old people that only adore their Beatles and Bee Gees, or the Classics. Keep rediscovering. We are privileged to live in a universe where sounds overwhelm us like how a cruise ship, a five million dollar car, a gadget that does everything (lol) can and yet when you try to reach for them, they are free!

10. Which leads me again to my over-idealist kind of living. I am full of ideals. I really loathe oppression and all the shit attached to it. I kinda despise capitalism but I wouldn't despise myself If I reach my goals because of it. And thank you Fight Club for kinda shaping my way of living. Don't forget this!

11. At this age though, I keep reinventing our ideals. You used to hate things that you love now. And love things that you hated before. If there is one thing you are consistent about. That is your openness to committing mistakes. Afterall, I'd rather be authentic than perfect.

12. This is why, I hate hypocrites among all the things I hate. But I am also a sinner of this sin. And I really hate it when I lie to myself. I hope you already apologized to all the lies you told others. And that is the only key we can only be true to ourselves. Today I learned to not care about what others think of me, after all, they are none of my business actually.

13. But lies aren't entirely an evil thing to do. Lies are the vehicles we use for surprises. Who doesn't want surprises? Especially the good ones. [Sidenote: Are you watching scary movies now, or still the scaredy cat you were before?]

You are the kind of person that would tirelessly excavate the depths of every neurons on your brain to come up with a very nice surprise. Be it a gimmick on your college report. A plot twist on a supposedly formal paper. Or simply a sweet gesture to your special someone.

You are the kind that would write an itinerary for a date.

You are the kind that would confess his crush drunk in front of all the girl's friends. Then run!

You are the kind that would write five thousand signatures as testimony to your adoration of a girl.

You are the kind that would blog about your letter to your future self.

What I'm saying is, you are an adventure anti-simplicity maniac. You crave for things that involves a loose screw or a two. Normal is boring for you. Maybe you will change maybe you won't. I won't ask you to change I won't also ask you to stay the same. But from the bottom of this heart...I really, really love you.


Sincerely yours,
22 year old you