There are two sides of a peso coin, one that shows the distinguished hero from Laguna but to me a mere creation of the United States government, and the other, an emblem of the Philippine Nation that doesn't really excite any sense of nationalism in me.

If my life is being determined by a toss coin, I must say I went for the bad side of it. I've been drowning in theories that only resided in my imagination in this second home, which I spent almost a decade of my life, make that seven to be exact, and still, I haven't finished my undergrad. In short, by virtue of tossing a coin, I was the good for nothing student. So, when I woke up 6 am in the first of June and started tucking my button-down white shirt in my dark chinos, I know today is the day. Most people will approach this day as the opportunity where all the text will come into life and be of actual use, but this day is a different one for me. Today is the day where I will be coming out of an institution that have imprisoned me and finally breath fresh air outside and naked to the real world. A true Andy Dufrense moment when he went out that stinking shit-hole of Shawshank.

Being naked is necessary. Imagine the typical disgust or distrust to the Philippine government, or the system of the government in general, and  here are intelligent, young, and sometimes condescending scholars entering the premise of one of the cores, in my case, the House of Representatives (HoR), where most will argue as the ground zero of the Philippine Government. Then upon seeing what is happening inside, these people will only be reaffirmed of their contempt. Such bright minds who will turn the other way and look for other avenues where they see a brighter sunshine. But I'm different. I'm not even trying to be profound. I'm different because I've seen hell, I've anticipated the worst of the worse, and what I only care about is getting out of the academic universe and see for myself what really is the fuzz outside. Good or bad. I don't care as long as I see it.

But life, sometimes life really make you an ass of yourself, make you a hypocrite of some sort. How can you be naked, when the very first day you see a flag ceremony that will arduously make you stand for nonsense formalities? (Yes, I'm a bit of a non-structuralist when it comes to formalities such as a flag ceremony) It just dissipated in a bit when a very energetic guy toured us around the compound. He's so passionate and motivating that I told him that maybe he should just consider a different job, something like a tourist guide for instance--of course in my head or in ears of my mates in hopes of making them laugh. Likewise, one of my distinguished colleague which I will name Congressman B blurted, "I'd trade inspiring kids on a simple tour with the daily grind of work." He makes sense most of the time.  The last stop of the tour was the archives of the HoR where they let us watch a brief movie about the Congress' history. It was very dull, that is why when the woman in charge of the archives started talking meaningful words of her world, which made mine fall apart, I wasn't prepared.

"Do not be disillusioned of what you're going to see in here, I've been working here for almost twenty years and still I haven't left. Just have faith."

Wow. I thought I am getting naked because I will deconstruct this experience as my escape to my prison. But no, I am naked because she stripped me of my clothes so worn out that they stink of my detrimental feelings to the world. In her words, there is certainly an ugly thing going on up there (we are at the basement), but still she finds a comforting beauty at the entire system. Like artworks in a gallery, the archives was hers and the bills are the paintings. The exhibit is blessed with such a curator.

The day was followed by numerous seminars of the basic things we should learn. The legislative process, how a bill becomes a law, etc, you know, the essential routines of practical work. I could feel a sense of investment from them in how they prepare us for this internship program, which I am very thankful for. Also, there's a sense of pride in having the same pace in almost everything with what the speakers are talking about, thanks to the education I am privileged to have through hard earned taxpayers' wallets.

Before the day ends, all of us were very excited to attend the plenary session of the congress. That chaotic image I always see on the television is being handed to me in a tangible form. The proceedings went on and I'd be honest that I did see not even less than ten malpractice. Which I just forego. I can't be disillusioned remember? And also, I feel stupid for not knowing what's really happening inside. I guess the succeeding lectures will bring light to this. Luckily, they were only opening the Bangsamoro Basic Law (BBL), and the deliberations will occur on the following days. I hope by then, I'm ready.

While on the plenary, I was seated next to this girl from Ateneo, I'm ashamed to say that most of this session I was only chit-chatting to people because my lack of understanding on the atrocities going about took my attention in a u-turn. She is an economics student and by the looks of it she'll be taking up law. The weird thing is, she boldly said that maybe someday she'll be one of those men and women below deliberating for future laws. It is weird because I can't find the connection to economics and public service, moreso she's from ateneo (I'm very sorry for having such stereotypes). She was baffling about her need to help her little province of Mindoro which is strained by poverty and what not. And she's also taking this internship not as a requirement but to make use of their academic shift that gave her too much vacant time since their classes will start in August. Amazing. I wish I had the same drive like her when I was her age. I wish more people her age have the same convictions, even more, people her age coming from my university who should at least acknowledge that they are being funded by the people.

The following days where more fruitful lectures. Most of them were things to not know much of since they are the technicalities inside the house. We are being deployed on the different committee's of the HoR. They always quote Woodrow Wilson's "Congress in session is Congress on public exhibition, whilst Congress in its committee-rooms is Congress at work." Just to give a perspective, in a nutshell, when they deliberate on TV, that is the part where a bill was already made, and the decision-makers will be the elected congressmen alone who then will decide if it will be proposed to the President for it to become an actual law. The committees however are where the bills are made. This is also where they put conscious efforts to give opportunity to many stake holders to deliberate with them about the bills that will be fought by a sponsor congressman hoping an initiative to happen. This is where we, as interns, are asked to facilitate contacting respective people involve, send them letters and let them know a meeting about a bill that will affect them will happen on this certain date, make minutes of the meetings, even help prepare the room that will be used by these men and women in its small tiny essence, I found comfort that I'll be doing some kind of help.

Perhaps a pivotal moment for me was when they invited the Deputy Secretary General of the House to share her experience as an intern at the United States' House of Congress some 30 years ago. How she suddenly took a 180 degree shift from not proceeding into UP Law and taking up a scholarship in Public Administration which granted her the opportunity to experience the US Congress. And up to this date she has been constantly influencing HoR for it to be a better place with a better system. She told us to find our north star and our core values to guide us and not let us be astrayed.

The topic on 'Writing a bill' was really exciting. The discussion on parliamentary procedures was very helpful in making a sense on the plenary sessions every afternoon. Overall, they didn't lack the proper preparations through lectures, and also, they have the great avenue to showcase it through our involvement with our different committees and the plenaries, which at this point is very interesting because of the BBL. It's like being part of a history. I know I heard one of the lecturers saying, "Walking in congress is like walking through pages of history", forgive me though for forgetting who you are.

If there is the pivotal moment, there should be a place where you consider yourself at now, and a distinction from where you place yourself before. Perhaps stripping me of my judgement was the curator's job. And making me wear another is to US Congress intern's availment. But the job in making me stand outside the vast open for people to see me with my new emperor's clothes is Valerie's, perhaps the prettiest girl I've ever seen from a far. She's probably 27 and is sitting on the side of the Speaker's rostrum. A very young stunner that is in the middle of a patriarchal Philippines and is carrying herself pretty well alongside them machos. Yes, I guess I'm a sucker for accomplished women. I refuse to be one of those who won't date someone higher and morr accomplished than because of my own selfish man pride. And also, a sucker for making lies such as this.

Of course she exist. Of course she is the prettiest from a far. And prettiest from a far means the huge distance that she presupposes from a teenage dirtbag like me. That is to say, her beauty is only coterminous to the fact that I can't reach her, if she's there, accessible and a mortal of the same level such as I, she's nothing but an average girl seen as beautiful. Of course the prettiest girl I've even seen is a different one far from the subject matter of this composition. And of course she's (Valerie) not the reason for making me make me wear my new fashion and standing tall for people to see, but the old grumps sitting beside me who told me her name.

To give you a picture. Here's how he looks.

Yes that's Carl Fredricksen from the movie up. They really look the same, for real! Apart from his comforting image and his laid back approachable feel in him, seeing that he is on the same visitor's seating area as I am and he is next to me, I just threw in a harmless question "So sir what is your purpose here?" He captured my heart when he answered a narration of his entire career which is thirty seven years in the congress. For crying out loud, he even experienced the Batasang Pambansa which predates the current 1987 constitution. He also shared his internship in the legislative process of India where it is a very bottom-up process. How? I'm not sure, but in my understanding, the local government units can do decisions affecting national policy. The involvement of people are reflected on their sentiments through their local legislative sector. And to me that is such a marvelous feat. They even have on-demand access to plenary proceedings. That is to say, you wanna watch some legislature action, you switch your T.V. on and there it is. Apparently, they mandated a law to have media coverage of every national proceedings.

The defining moment where I felt that I was Jordan Nagal, the young boy who accidentally flew with this old man's house is when he answered my question, "Why didn't you leave." He just smiled and said, "I was absorbed by the system." And there is not a single trace of regret or shame on his face, because that smile is one of the most genuine I ever saw. And he reiterated it by making me feel that he is an old man, he has a happy family of four boys with the youngest graduating UP Physics, a lovely wife,  a long 62 years of living and yet he feels that his life is worthwhile, that everything was fulfilling, especially because of working for the government. It's like he was preaching me in the most sincere way without even actually preaching; by telling me how his life had been.

Like I've said, there are two sides of a peso coin, one that shows the distinguished hero from Laguna but to me a mere creation of the United States government, and the other, an emblem of the Philippine Nation that doesn't really excite any sense of nationalism in me. I guess we're too preoccupied by our judgement that we can't see that in fact a coin is not a circle, but a cylinder. Even though it has such a small height, if we look closely there are fine lines intricately dispersed around the coin which differentiates the two sides. But looking closely isn't enough, sometimes you really have to be so immersed that you can also see the gaps in every line, telling us that if we picture the coin absent of such lines, we see one fine line of connection in how we traverse one side of a peso coin to the other. And to me that is the beauty of the system. We may be unfortunate that sometimes or mostly it is barred by misguided politicians by sometines misguided electorate. But know that there is a system that binds it altogether. A very beautiful one from where I'm standing as authentic as possible as it swims through the tides of wrongdoings and judicious ones. An intricate but beautiful yin-yang.

I think the ending of the movie Inception is open for interpretations. Just like whether you'd be facing a heads or a tails in a coin when you twist it. There's a minuscule chance it would stand on its own showing its crevices. In the part where the movie will end and stop mid-twist and make you think where it would fall, are you just gonna wait for it to fall on its own? Or will you give it time to be understood and be evaluated properly as to why it fell this way? Better think quick because the clock is ticking, and the only time is now.