The Girl from my Post-Apocalpytic Dream
Have you ever dreamed of a face so vivid yet you haven't seen that face ever before?
It started on the airplane. Which is somewhat a cruise ship because people we're just walking all over the place with a food cart like we have them on malls. I was staring at this particular face and she was staring back at me. It was really quite uncomfortable for me though and I guess that's because there's a hint of insecurity within me and she was more than average pretty.
Describing a person physically is one of the many challenges I have in writing. But let me try for the guy doing the police sketches. She looks young, maybe like a twenty-two year old. I don't know how to explain it. Her body frame is really small. What am I even thinking though? Did I think that when she turns 23, 24,25 she'll suddenly grow larger physically? And we're not talking getting fat here, I'm talking about the specific bone frame and I guess the word for that is petite, (haha) right? She's 5' 2" by the looks of it. And she looks young, twenty-two year old young who just finished college (it may not be the case for the age now given the Senior High School situation). She's fair-skinned, the type where red lipsticks work really well in her favor. And she's wearing one and a bit of the other stuff which I have no idea what to call them but it makes her pale skin looks more alive and her small eyes more accentuated. She has shoulder-length hair, very vanilla; straight, black, thick, walang-tikwas.
If we use archetypes, she's your standard rejoice commercial model. And to some degree the archetype I'm not particularly fond of, which is funny because I don't think I really have a type. This dream somewhat alludes to a person who is physically attractive and obviously swooned over, but really is not my go-to. For instance, I don't see her ears anywhere because they are tucked inside her thick hair and I'm recently finding out because of this that I like big ears that peep outside the hair from watching all those shows with elves in them. Having a fair-skin, she's your classic koreana craze look with soft features and when you look at here it feels like you are soothed by that particular Endless Love piano piece that plays in the background and all you can think of is cancer, and dying.. and maybe a little bit about undying love. But upon introspection, I'm more of a resting bitch-face Aubrey Plaza kind of person. However, she indeed has this koreana look, but a very distinct Pinay touch. Think of Catriona Gray who's the mestiza archetype but she certainly does not have soft features as every time you glimpse at her there's a certain force laid down upon you and it's overbearing sometimes. That kind of Pinay touch. To declutter all these thoughts and in hopes to simplify them, this girl looks like a Korean chic in a very petite frame but Catriona-esque that has an 'I have arrived in-your-face as you stare at me' vibe.
It's a lot of work to describe her physically but it's easier to describe her how she is.. or at least how the entire cruise-like airplane feels about her. Dreams never make sense and it's funny how this plane is in a giant food-court buffet where people gather in the middle to eat standing like we're in a ball-room. And that was emphasized by the fact that we're all in tuxedos and night-gowns. I'm not sure if how information about her came to me, I just remember eating and people sort of come my way to say things about her or gossip in a loud manner where I eavesdrop on them unintentionally. They're all unanimous and repetitive. She's a single mom. She sleeps with various men for money and power. She's ambitious for a woman and talks where she doesn't belong. And, she's bat shit crazy, which is the most prolific rumor because it comes in different examples. The kind where there was a story involving a chainsaw, a missing limb, toothless mother-in-law, and creepy tapestry (Midsommar?).
Since dreams also kind of mock you for things you don't want to happen but will happen, it didn't take a while for the dream to materialize all the rumor-mongering. Glasses shattered momentarily. Shouting came after. Curses we're said. I cannot remember verbatim. To describe it, a waiter apparently messed up and bump into her way and now her gown is covered in wine. Then after very briefly, a flurry of insults which is masterfully crafted like yo girl's on a FlipTop battle were thrown. After this scene, I just spaced out because I hate people berating people working in the service industry. Normally, I would intervene but they are too far and people are already about to fuse the situation.
When the plane landed which looks like a giant UFO on the outside, we were fetched by a double-decker bus to service us to the main facility. I'm excited as I get to finally experience riding one especially the type where it's roofless on the top-deck. Dreams are trippy of course, I get seated next to a British man. He's very nonchalant for someone who's holding boxes of kicks which probably almost a dozen. He's cramped up on the side of the window, some of them on his lap some of them on the floor. The fellow smiled at me and he looks like Jay from The Inbetweeners.
"Hey, lad do you reckon you'd fancy some trainers? I'm giving them out for free." the British guy asked me cheerfully where I can see gold platings on his teeth.
He then proceeded to show me one by one like he's selling them except he is giving them for free. He demoed everything starting from the first box and all of them were great but I'm not a huge fan of kicks so I really don't care even if they were free, and even if it doesn't really make sense at that time to get free brand new shoes from strangers. Not until the fifth or sixth box that I saw something I really liked. It was a Puma slip-on and it exudes the idea of wearing rubber sneakers like flipflops. I smiled at him and wore it right away and we both did a hysterical laugh.
"These fit so great. Can I have em'?" I cheerfully asked him.
"The question is do you want more?" then tried wagging his brows up and down like a complete Trainers gift-giving Santa Claus. I got really freaked out by him so, with much comfort in my soles and awareness of how good-looking my new shoes feel, I ran like the wind towards the Baggage area. I remember I was checking out my silhouette at the glass walls of the airport and I look really slick with my tuxedo and these slip-on trainers.
Running towards it I thought I'd be the first to be there but to my surprise, I can see the girl from the ballroom. She was trying to fit all her luggage in her pushcart and she's really having a hard time because of her small frame and she really has quite a lot of baggage [pun intended]. I would hate myself if I try to help her, she's really conventionally attractive but I don't want her to think I'd hit on her because of that plus she's somewhat a despicable person from what I heard and saw on the plane's ballroom. Her things started to fall on the floor because no matter how she arranges the bags to make them fit in one go she just couldn't do it. I couldn't take it and didn't even offer to help, I just picked up her things and with some physics and re-arranging did the deed and she thanked me very earnestly,
"Thank you I'm ________ [Either I can't remember or there wasn't a name, but for this story's sake let's call her Shorty]. You're the guy who was staring at me earlier before I had a meltdown" she said smiling at me. And that smile sort of soothed me a little bit. [Just a side note, going back to this part of the dream reminded me of the airport meet-cute scene in That Thing Called Tadhana]
"No problem. I'm JV. I didn't mean to stare, it's just that.. you're really not my type but you're also really pretty. Do you maybe wanna be.. Facebook friends?"
I don't know the thinking process here but I really said that. It's even funnier because I asked her to be a Facebook friend. For some reason, she found it funny too so she laughed really hard and before I get a chance to compose myself she was already spelling her full name so I can add her and it was very, very ridiculously hard to spell like those Greek names!
"Found you.." before I even finish to commend her about her being a lawyer she interrupted me intently.
"Hey can you do me a favor?" she exclaimed and while I had the chance to speak she just went off.
"I really need some help here. Can I maybe spend a night at your house? Where do you live?" she asked.
Normally my usual reactions would be, "Oooh she wants the D". This is weird because I don't think some act of kindness will do that for me unless I'm also really, really hot, but I'm not, at least that's what it feels in the dream. She's really way out of my league. My reaction was, I very blatantly felt my body sweating and so much pressure is eating me up that there's shortness in breathing, and quite frankly, I was really comparably scared as to how a nightmare would feel.
First of all, she didn't even tell me the backstory and outrightly asked that. Second, 'where do you live?' specifically is something you don't hear without pretext and is quite invasive even for someone like me who's very open as a person. Lastly, the whole dream there was a looming feeling of wanting to just be home, as the dream explicitly wants me to feel I'm away from it every second of it. And then there's this person who's quite dangerous and has the capacity to make me not think right because of her looks even though she's not my type. And this person is trying to be at the same place I want to be. I only did not felt scared for my self but for the people who will be in my home which were my housemates and I love them so much especially at these trying times (shout out to you if you read my blog! haha).
I was very evidently dismissive and distant with Shorty right after. I stuttered in answering her question. I can't look at her clearly. And I tried using my phone to feign checking if it's cool with the people I live with. She felt it. And without really getting a concrete answer with a little hint of resentment she said,
"Nevermind. I thought you're better than that JV," as she walked away.
When people appeal to my moral conscience I tend to overthink and self-reflect repeatedly. This triggered a rally of flashbacks with her mentioning the line 'I thought you're better than that JV' repeatedly, the flashbacking to the waiter fiasco, her smile at the conveyor belt. Then it hit me. Her dress is not wet at all. It should be obvious because the one in the ballroom got really soaked. I know that because of the flashback repetitions were really a lot and very Huling El Bimbo outro ish. And the one in the ballroom is wearing a grey dress which is why it's obvious. Shorty's outfit was a very classy black sleeveless pantsuit. And then as things became clearer, the dream led me to a closer view of the confrontation where the waiter who was carefully passing through was bumped by the woman in gray for excessively laughing so hard she leaned back on him. And this person had the audacity to insult the waiter in front of her friends. Then came Shorty who is clearly not sitting well with this. She grabbed her glass and threw it to the woman on top of the wine that was already soaking her up.
"Either way, you're already wet. Did you know that a lot of public court cases in the Philippines are clogged with Unjust Vexation? Mostly it's just a flex of the rich people since they can afford to pay for all the trouble of suing someone because they were bad mouthed. I would happily represent this waiter if you don't stop harassing him. Then you can sue me for telling you that you.. are such a privileged stuck up bitch who only has the guts to act mighty high around people who can't fight back. What about take the fight with me then?" [It's funny because the thought about Unjust Vexation probably occurred to me when I was doing a short research stint with the Department of Justice about the courts in Metro Manila and I really encountered so much Unjust Vexation on the docket]
If I was there I would've slow clapped. But the dream made it seem like she was the bad guy which if I was on her shoes is exactly what I would do, minus the bat shit crazy throwing of another glass of wine. Don't get me wrong, she looks amazing here, her badass lawyer FlipTop bars were great but I still feel she is bat shit crazy.
I tried looking for her right after and I couldn't find her anywhere. I felt bad for making her feel rejected just because of the things I heard about her, which led me to view the confrontation in a bad light. Her words got through me, and although that doesn't warrant inviting her to my place, that's exactly what I plan to do (haha). To my surprise I found her eating at Angel's burger with a niche Hungarian sausage order which is a hidden gem. I smiled at the thought that she knows about it.
"Uy. Ummm. Hello." I greeted her and she looked at me with a bit of ketchup on her side cheek. I really wanted to rub it away. She frowned after seeing me. And then turned the other way and proceeded to finish her sandwich.
"I'm sorry I turned you away without asking you why you need my help?" I tried to apologize.
"Why didn't you ask?" she responded as she took another bite of the sausage while staring at me looking completely unfazed.
"Why didn't I ask? Because people told me you were sort of a psycho and then moments later exhibited such behavior? Because I'm dumb enough that my views of a person I don't know get influenced by people I also don't know?" I said to myself and even before I even get to form a coherent answer to this she proceeded to speak again,
"Actually, you don't owe me anything at all. We're good. No need to apologize. But why are you here?" she said as she's almost done with her last bite as she crumples the plastic in her hands, licks her fingers, and throw it in the bin.
"I was wondering if you still want to spend a night at our place since you seem to need it?" I embarrassingly asked.
"Tara let's. Saan daan?" she handed me one of her bags and act as if nothing really happened.
I totally forgot a particular scene here that transitioned from Angel's burger to the next scene which was suddenly the country-side. I just remembered it was set in Maginhawa where apparently where Angel's burger was which led us to a passage going somewhere and then we're someplace else.
There's a long stretch of a wide uncemented road. And then stretches of a rice field on both sides but they're not planted at all. The soil looks like the dry cracks of land because of El-Niño. This is ironic because the road in the middle is very wet and muddy. There's even spots where basins of water are concentrated so you have to figure out where to traverse. For some reason, all of her baggage was gone at this point so that makes it easier.
Together we sighed at the sight of what we are about to cross. We stared at each other, see each other's outfits and laugh. It's like the dream reminding me that we were wearing an outfit that is completely inappropriate for this but now it makes sense why I got a new pair of shoes. For some reason again, she's suddenly wearing Hi-cut Chuck Taylor's. We crossed the road. It took us a while in the dream. There were a couple of moments where I had to jump and grab her hand so she can leap on a water basin. I guess the dream wanted me to enjoy these moments. Oh the feeling of holding someone's hand, I really enjoyed it. [haha]
At the end of the country road, I encountered an old friend who's also the biggest bully in elementary school and the guy who I always fist-fight with as a kid. I don't know what's the purpose of this scene as we just said our hi and hellos and perhaps a little sliver of worry on his face. I always lose at all those fights and if this guy is looking scared I guess something dangerous is abound.
The entire mood of the dream changed again from a holding-hands moment with Shorty and now we're in front of a very, very old house which is also apparently a museum. It's scary again but this time I'm more comfortable and perhaps delighted over the girl I'm with so of course, the dream would throw in a very random thing such as,
"Did I ever tell you why I needed to come over your place?" she asked and again without waiting for my answer proceeded to tell the story,
"Allegedly, I killed my ex-boyfriend with a chainsaw and he bled to death. We never broke but I don't think we can continue doing the relationship with him you know.. dead" she laughed at her own joke.
"Allegedly?" I asked in a very nervous tone with a large gulp of worrisome.
"What do you think? I mean I have to keep a low profile after they found his body so I need to hide at your house, right?" she laughed teasingly and we proceeded to enter the old manor and I'm as bothered as ever.
You know the two types of horror films. First, the jumpscare, and this is what I predominantly felt over the first moments that I was scared, the feeling that something would pop and surprise me offhand and make me run for my life. The other one is the eerie kind where there's an obtuse feeling of an oddity, weirdness, and the strange. The kind that creeps in your mind and the longer you ponder on it, the more scared you get. That's what it feels like to be inside this museum in an old mansion.
Mostly the selections were wood-sculptures. And I swear I have never seen such elaborately odd creations in my life before. This is the part where I'm frustrated at not being capable of creating visual art. It pains me that description in writing is also hard for me so I can't put it into words that someone might make them into reality. If only I could make them real. Sigh. I'm not very crafty! The closest I did that wasn't a requirement from art class were scribblings on paper as a kid of whatever odd monster I can create from continuously just making random lines and see what I'd make of it. I'd like to think those scribblings we're the inspiration for these sculptures. The funny thing is I don't have a mental image of what it would look like and what I want it to be until I made enough lines to spark the imagination. They are all humanoids or creature forms in wood, Guillermo Del Torro would be stoked!
To make matters worse, the entire museum has the weirdest ergonomic ever. There is definitely enough space, but the sculptures were placed like a maze from the front door to where it might lead us, and it feels super congested, unpassable at times that you have to pass through crevices of some of the artworks. Even gravity is defied and cartoon physics is at work where sometimes I and Shorty is walking in the ceiling and to the sidewalls which vary heavily. One thing is constant though, remember the muddy road we've just been, my new shoes are coverred there is enough feeling of claustrophobia going on that we are grinding every step of the way. I can sense her fear whenever she squeezes my hand if obstacles get overwhelming but I don't even need to ask her if she's okay because she's aware when she does it and simply just smiles my way.
"Sorry magugulatin talaga ako," think of April Ludgate's character whenever she smiles at people with her resting bitch face, wide genuine smile but her eyes mocks your soul, this is how she told it to me. I feel good being the receiving end of that but also scared as it made me remember about her ex-boyfriend who was murdered. Did she really murder the guy with a chainsaw?
It started on the airplane. Which is somewhat a cruise ship because people we're just walking all over the place with a food cart like we have them on malls. I was staring at this particular face and she was staring back at me. It was really quite uncomfortable for me though and I guess that's because there's a hint of insecurity within me and she was more than average pretty.
Describing a person physically is one of the many challenges I have in writing. But let me try for the guy doing the police sketches. She looks young, maybe like a twenty-two year old. I don't know how to explain it. Her body frame is really small. What am I even thinking though? Did I think that when she turns 23, 24,25 she'll suddenly grow larger physically? And we're not talking getting fat here, I'm talking about the specific bone frame and I guess the word for that is petite, (haha) right? She's 5' 2" by the looks of it. And she looks young, twenty-two year old young who just finished college (it may not be the case for the age now given the Senior High School situation). She's fair-skinned, the type where red lipsticks work really well in her favor. And she's wearing one and a bit of the other stuff which I have no idea what to call them but it makes her pale skin looks more alive and her small eyes more accentuated. She has shoulder-length hair, very vanilla; straight, black, thick, walang-tikwas.
If we use archetypes, she's your standard rejoice commercial model. And to some degree the archetype I'm not particularly fond of, which is funny because I don't think I really have a type. This dream somewhat alludes to a person who is physically attractive and obviously swooned over, but really is not my go-to. For instance, I don't see her ears anywhere because they are tucked inside her thick hair and I'm recently finding out because of this that I like big ears that peep outside the hair from watching all those shows with elves in them. Having a fair-skin, she's your classic koreana craze look with soft features and when you look at here it feels like you are soothed by that particular Endless Love piano piece that plays in the background and all you can think of is cancer, and dying.. and maybe a little bit about undying love. But upon introspection, I'm more of a resting bitch-face Aubrey Plaza kind of person. However, she indeed has this koreana look, but a very distinct Pinay touch. Think of Catriona Gray who's the mestiza archetype but she certainly does not have soft features as every time you glimpse at her there's a certain force laid down upon you and it's overbearing sometimes. That kind of Pinay touch. To declutter all these thoughts and in hopes to simplify them, this girl looks like a Korean chic in a very petite frame but Catriona-esque that has an 'I have arrived in-your-face as you stare at me' vibe.
It's a lot of work to describe her physically but it's easier to describe her how she is.. or at least how the entire cruise-like airplane feels about her. Dreams never make sense and it's funny how this plane is in a giant food-court buffet where people gather in the middle to eat standing like we're in a ball-room. And that was emphasized by the fact that we're all in tuxedos and night-gowns. I'm not sure if how information about her came to me, I just remember eating and people sort of come my way to say things about her or gossip in a loud manner where I eavesdrop on them unintentionally. They're all unanimous and repetitive. She's a single mom. She sleeps with various men for money and power. She's ambitious for a woman and talks where she doesn't belong. And, she's bat shit crazy, which is the most prolific rumor because it comes in different examples. The kind where there was a story involving a chainsaw, a missing limb, toothless mother-in-law, and creepy tapestry (Midsommar?).
Since dreams also kind of mock you for things you don't want to happen but will happen, it didn't take a while for the dream to materialize all the rumor-mongering. Glasses shattered momentarily. Shouting came after. Curses we're said. I cannot remember verbatim. To describe it, a waiter apparently messed up and bump into her way and now her gown is covered in wine. Then after very briefly, a flurry of insults which is masterfully crafted like yo girl's on a FlipTop battle were thrown. After this scene, I just spaced out because I hate people berating people working in the service industry. Normally, I would intervene but they are too far and people are already about to fuse the situation.
When the plane landed which looks like a giant UFO on the outside, we were fetched by a double-decker bus to service us to the main facility. I'm excited as I get to finally experience riding one especially the type where it's roofless on the top-deck. Dreams are trippy of course, I get seated next to a British man. He's very nonchalant for someone who's holding boxes of kicks which probably almost a dozen. He's cramped up on the side of the window, some of them on his lap some of them on the floor. The fellow smiled at me and he looks like Jay from The Inbetweeners.
"Hey, lad do you reckon you'd fancy some trainers? I'm giving them out for free." the British guy asked me cheerfully where I can see gold platings on his teeth.
He then proceeded to show me one by one like he's selling them except he is giving them for free. He demoed everything starting from the first box and all of them were great but I'm not a huge fan of kicks so I really don't care even if they were free, and even if it doesn't really make sense at that time to get free brand new shoes from strangers. Not until the fifth or sixth box that I saw something I really liked. It was a Puma slip-on and it exudes the idea of wearing rubber sneakers like flipflops. I smiled at him and wore it right away and we both did a hysterical laugh.
"These fit so great. Can I have em'?" I cheerfully asked him.
"The question is do you want more?" then tried wagging his brows up and down like a complete Trainers gift-giving Santa Claus. I got really freaked out by him so, with much comfort in my soles and awareness of how good-looking my new shoes feel, I ran like the wind towards the Baggage area. I remember I was checking out my silhouette at the glass walls of the airport and I look really slick with my tuxedo and these slip-on trainers.
Running towards it I thought I'd be the first to be there but to my surprise, I can see the girl from the ballroom. She was trying to fit all her luggage in her pushcart and she's really having a hard time because of her small frame and she really has quite a lot of baggage [pun intended]. I would hate myself if I try to help her, she's really conventionally attractive but I don't want her to think I'd hit on her because of that plus she's somewhat a despicable person from what I heard and saw on the plane's ballroom. Her things started to fall on the floor because no matter how she arranges the bags to make them fit in one go she just couldn't do it. I couldn't take it and didn't even offer to help, I just picked up her things and with some physics and re-arranging did the deed and she thanked me very earnestly,
"Thank you I'm ________ [Either I can't remember or there wasn't a name, but for this story's sake let's call her Shorty]. You're the guy who was staring at me earlier before I had a meltdown" she said smiling at me. And that smile sort of soothed me a little bit. [Just a side note, going back to this part of the dream reminded me of the airport meet-cute scene in That Thing Called Tadhana]
"No problem. I'm JV. I didn't mean to stare, it's just that.. you're really not my type but you're also really pretty. Do you maybe wanna be.. Facebook friends?"
I don't know the thinking process here but I really said that. It's even funnier because I asked her to be a Facebook friend. For some reason, she found it funny too so she laughed really hard and before I get a chance to compose myself she was already spelling her full name so I can add her and it was very, very ridiculously hard to spell like those Greek names!
"Found you.." before I even finish to commend her about her being a lawyer she interrupted me intently.
"Hey can you do me a favor?" she exclaimed and while I had the chance to speak she just went off.
"I really need some help here. Can I maybe spend a night at your house? Where do you live?" she asked.
Normally my usual reactions would be, "Oooh she wants the D". This is weird because I don't think some act of kindness will do that for me unless I'm also really, really hot, but I'm not, at least that's what it feels in the dream. She's really way out of my league. My reaction was, I very blatantly felt my body sweating and so much pressure is eating me up that there's shortness in breathing, and quite frankly, I was really comparably scared as to how a nightmare would feel.
First of all, she didn't even tell me the backstory and outrightly asked that. Second, 'where do you live?' specifically is something you don't hear without pretext and is quite invasive even for someone like me who's very open as a person. Lastly, the whole dream there was a looming feeling of wanting to just be home, as the dream explicitly wants me to feel I'm away from it every second of it. And then there's this person who's quite dangerous and has the capacity to make me not think right because of her looks even though she's not my type. And this person is trying to be at the same place I want to be. I only did not felt scared for my self but for the people who will be in my home which were my housemates and I love them so much especially at these trying times (shout out to you if you read my blog! haha).
I was very evidently dismissive and distant with Shorty right after. I stuttered in answering her question. I can't look at her clearly. And I tried using my phone to feign checking if it's cool with the people I live with. She felt it. And without really getting a concrete answer with a little hint of resentment she said,
"Nevermind. I thought you're better than that JV," as she walked away.
When people appeal to my moral conscience I tend to overthink and self-reflect repeatedly. This triggered a rally of flashbacks with her mentioning the line 'I thought you're better than that JV' repeatedly, the flashbacking to the waiter fiasco, her smile at the conveyor belt. Then it hit me. Her dress is not wet at all. It should be obvious because the one in the ballroom got really soaked. I know that because of the flashback repetitions were really a lot and very Huling El Bimbo outro ish. And the one in the ballroom is wearing a grey dress which is why it's obvious. Shorty's outfit was a very classy black sleeveless pantsuit. And then as things became clearer, the dream led me to a closer view of the confrontation where the waiter who was carefully passing through was bumped by the woman in gray for excessively laughing so hard she leaned back on him. And this person had the audacity to insult the waiter in front of her friends. Then came Shorty who is clearly not sitting well with this. She grabbed her glass and threw it to the woman on top of the wine that was already soaking her up.
"Either way, you're already wet. Did you know that a lot of public court cases in the Philippines are clogged with Unjust Vexation? Mostly it's just a flex of the rich people since they can afford to pay for all the trouble of suing someone because they were bad mouthed. I would happily represent this waiter if you don't stop harassing him. Then you can sue me for telling you that you.. are such a privileged stuck up bitch who only has the guts to act mighty high around people who can't fight back. What about take the fight with me then?" [It's funny because the thought about Unjust Vexation probably occurred to me when I was doing a short research stint with the Department of Justice about the courts in Metro Manila and I really encountered so much Unjust Vexation on the docket]
If I was there I would've slow clapped. But the dream made it seem like she was the bad guy which if I was on her shoes is exactly what I would do, minus the bat shit crazy throwing of another glass of wine. Don't get me wrong, she looks amazing here, her badass lawyer FlipTop bars were great but I still feel she is bat shit crazy.
I tried looking for her right after and I couldn't find her anywhere. I felt bad for making her feel rejected just because of the things I heard about her, which led me to view the confrontation in a bad light. Her words got through me, and although that doesn't warrant inviting her to my place, that's exactly what I plan to do (haha). To my surprise I found her eating at Angel's burger with a niche Hungarian sausage order which is a hidden gem. I smiled at the thought that she knows about it.
"Uy. Ummm. Hello." I greeted her and she looked at me with a bit of ketchup on her side cheek. I really wanted to rub it away. She frowned after seeing me. And then turned the other way and proceeded to finish her sandwich.
"I'm sorry I turned you away without asking you why you need my help?" I tried to apologize.
"Why didn't you ask?" she responded as she took another bite of the sausage while staring at me looking completely unfazed.
"Why didn't I ask? Because people told me you were sort of a psycho and then moments later exhibited such behavior? Because I'm dumb enough that my views of a person I don't know get influenced by people I also don't know?" I said to myself and even before I even get to form a coherent answer to this she proceeded to speak again,
"Actually, you don't owe me anything at all. We're good. No need to apologize. But why are you here?" she said as she's almost done with her last bite as she crumples the plastic in her hands, licks her fingers, and throw it in the bin.
"I was wondering if you still want to spend a night at our place since you seem to need it?" I embarrassingly asked.
"Tara let's. Saan daan?" she handed me one of her bags and act as if nothing really happened.
I totally forgot a particular scene here that transitioned from Angel's burger to the next scene which was suddenly the country-side. I just remembered it was set in Maginhawa where apparently where Angel's burger was which led us to a passage going somewhere and then we're someplace else.
There's a long stretch of a wide uncemented road. And then stretches of a rice field on both sides but they're not planted at all. The soil looks like the dry cracks of land because of El-Niño. This is ironic because the road in the middle is very wet and muddy. There's even spots where basins of water are concentrated so you have to figure out where to traverse. For some reason, all of her baggage was gone at this point so that makes it easier.
Together we sighed at the sight of what we are about to cross. We stared at each other, see each other's outfits and laugh. It's like the dream reminding me that we were wearing an outfit that is completely inappropriate for this but now it makes sense why I got a new pair of shoes. For some reason again, she's suddenly wearing Hi-cut Chuck Taylor's. We crossed the road. It took us a while in the dream. There were a couple of moments where I had to jump and grab her hand so she can leap on a water basin. I guess the dream wanted me to enjoy these moments. Oh the feeling of holding someone's hand, I really enjoyed it. [haha]
At the end of the country road, I encountered an old friend who's also the biggest bully in elementary school and the guy who I always fist-fight with as a kid. I don't know what's the purpose of this scene as we just said our hi and hellos and perhaps a little sliver of worry on his face. I always lose at all those fights and if this guy is looking scared I guess something dangerous is abound.
The entire mood of the dream changed again from a holding-hands moment with Shorty and now we're in front of a very, very old house which is also apparently a museum. It's scary again but this time I'm more comfortable and perhaps delighted over the girl I'm with so of course, the dream would throw in a very random thing such as,
"Did I ever tell you why I needed to come over your place?" she asked and again without waiting for my answer proceeded to tell the story,
"Allegedly, I killed my ex-boyfriend with a chainsaw and he bled to death. We never broke but I don't think we can continue doing the relationship with him you know.. dead" she laughed at her own joke.
"Allegedly?" I asked in a very nervous tone with a large gulp of worrisome.
"What do you think? I mean I have to keep a low profile after they found his body so I need to hide at your house, right?" she laughed teasingly and we proceeded to enter the old manor and I'm as bothered as ever.
You know the two types of horror films. First, the jumpscare, and this is what I predominantly felt over the first moments that I was scared, the feeling that something would pop and surprise me offhand and make me run for my life. The other one is the eerie kind where there's an obtuse feeling of an oddity, weirdness, and the strange. The kind that creeps in your mind and the longer you ponder on it, the more scared you get. That's what it feels like to be inside this museum in an old mansion.
Mostly the selections were wood-sculptures. And I swear I have never seen such elaborately odd creations in my life before. This is the part where I'm frustrated at not being capable of creating visual art. It pains me that description in writing is also hard for me so I can't put it into words that someone might make them into reality. If only I could make them real. Sigh. I'm not very crafty! The closest I did that wasn't a requirement from art class were scribblings on paper as a kid of whatever odd monster I can create from continuously just making random lines and see what I'd make of it. I'd like to think those scribblings we're the inspiration for these sculptures. The funny thing is I don't have a mental image of what it would look like and what I want it to be until I made enough lines to spark the imagination. They are all humanoids or creature forms in wood, Guillermo Del Torro would be stoked!
To make matters worse, the entire museum has the weirdest ergonomic ever. There is definitely enough space, but the sculptures were placed like a maze from the front door to where it might lead us, and it feels super congested, unpassable at times that you have to pass through crevices of some of the artworks. Even gravity is defied and cartoon physics is at work where sometimes I and Shorty is walking in the ceiling and to the sidewalls which vary heavily. One thing is constant though, remember the muddy road we've just been, my new shoes are coverred there is enough feeling of claustrophobia going on that we are grinding every step of the way. I can sense her fear whenever she squeezes my hand if obstacles get overwhelming but I don't even need to ask her if she's okay because she's aware when she does it and simply just smiles my way.
"Sorry magugulatin talaga ako," think of April Ludgate's character whenever she smiles at people with her resting bitch face, wide genuine smile but her eyes mocks your soul, this is how she told it to me. I feel good being the receiving end of that but also scared as it made me remember about her ex-boyfriend who was murdered. Did she really murder the guy with a chainsaw?
